Monday, September 03, 2007

Survivor - Fantastic

As sent to me by Carley...

Have you heard about the next planned "Survivor" Show?

Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be dropped in a primary school classroom for 1 school year. Each businessperson will be provided with a copy of his/her school's curriculum and a class of 28 students.

Each class will have a minimum of five learning-disabled children, three with A.D.D., one gifted child, two who speak limited English. Three students will be labelled with severe behaviour problems.

Each business person must complete lesson plans at least 3 days in advance, with annotations for curriculum objectives and modify, organise or create their materials accordingly. They will be required to teach students, handle misconduct, implement technology, document attendance, write referrals, correct homework, compute grades, complete report cards, document benchmarks, communicate with parents, arrange parent/teacher interviews. They must also stand in their doorway between class changes to monitor students.

In addition, they will complete fire drills, attend swimming carnivals, sport carnivals and be available to participate in after school activities. They must attend workshops, staff meetings and attend curriculum development meetings. They must also tutor students who are behind and strive to get their 2 non-English speakling children proficient enough to pass a basic literacy test. If they are sick or having a bad day they must not let it show.

Each day they must incorporate reading, writing, maths, science and social studies into the program. They must maintain discipline and provide an educationally stimulating environment to motivate students at all times. If all students do not wish to co-operate, work or learn, the teacher will be held responsible.

The business people will only have access to the public golf course on the weekends, but with their new salary, they may not be able to afford it. There will be no access to customers who want to take them out to lunch, and lunch will be limited to thirty minutes, which is not counted as part of their work day. The business people will be permitted to use the toilet as long as another survival candidate can supervise their class.

If the copier is operable, they may make copies of necessary materials before, or after school. However, they cannot surpass their monthly limit of copies. The business people must continually advance their education, at their expense, and on their own time.

The winner of this Season of Survivor will be allowed to return to their job!!!!!!!!!

4 comments:

superrelish said...

That is one show I wouldn't sign up to be a part of (I don't think I would even let my kids sign up for it), but it would be hilarious! For me, teaching class is only fun for a few seconds.

Anonymous said...

Very well thoughty out - I detect a hint if sarcasm!
Love JEG

Anna said...

Ha ha - it's funny how everyone thinks there occupation is some sort of mission!

Turning Japanese said...

Yeah it is funny...
I do sometimes think that work exchange might be a good idea to see how each group works and what is involved. Might clear up some misunderstandings and misconceptions.